Things to learn from Men

Women love to criticize the opposite sex and seem to always be on a crusade to equal them. However there are always some good characteristics of men that perhaps, women could learn from.  As we take the battle of the sexes forward, here are a couple of things that I admire about the men and feel that we can learn from them (Although I am not denying the possibility that some women already have these qualities in them !!!)

  • Men have more control of their emotions

    Most men can go through the toughest situations with a cool head and dry eyes. They keep their emotions intact and head straight. On the other hand as women we tend to self-pity and throw ourselves into a bucketful of tears at the first opportunity. Only after exhausting ourselves with crying do we wipe our faces and get back to work. One of the things I want to work on is how to cry less and face challenges with a brave face.

    Women must know that every situation doesn’t call for a huge emotional turmoil. Sometimes keeping a brave face wont make us hard-hearted or indifferent, but can also make us a bit rational and practical.

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    • Taste of Reality

    Men are very realistic and practical in life. I feel that women tend to always fantasize about everything in their life, be it relationship or marriage or work life. Add to it social websites like facebook, snapchat, Instagram only increases the level of expectations that women have from their life. Men on the other hand are very realistic and accept that things can’t be eternally hunky dory as per their dreams.

    • Men are thick-skinned and don’t hold grudges

    Women could learn from men not to take criticism so personally, in both work and personal situations. Women tend to think that if you like a person, you express agreement with them in all situations. A women might feel attacked if her man disagrees with her in public. She may confuse opinions and intellectual engagement with loyalty. Men on the other hand tend to explore the idea by tearing it apart, by playing a devil’s advocate. But a women might just think “He hates my idea” or even “He hates me”. Also we tend to hold grudges for far longer time than men. It really doesn’t help anyone to hold onto bitterness, so why don’t we take a note from the men, and sort out the issue as soon as possible. I think women would be better off if we didn’t take stuff so personally.

    • Men have no problem being assertive.

    I hate when I hear women say “I am sorry, can I just…”, “Honey, please can you do this? “. Why are women always apologizing for? Why do they always engage in uptalk? A women tends to be too accommodating sometimes and be trying to please all the people all the time. It may seem rude and selfish, the way a man will demand and expect to get what he wants, but sometimes women could learn from this and stand up more for what they really want.

    • Men think once, think twice……then act!

    Women tend to overthink and play-back all possible scenarios and what-ifs of a situation, sometimes even when really we have no control over how things turn out. One the other hand, men do tend to let things be what they are. I wish we would learn that there is no point dwelling on the tiniest of details or wonder what will happen next. We should really learn to live in the moment.

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    • Men are focused and persistent

    Men may be sometimes criticized for this, but they always are focused on one thing at a time. If they are enjoying a match, they will immerse themselves in the match and truly enjoy it. If they decide to fix the doorbell, they wont quit until they do.

    Women are proud of their ability to multitask, but this is a characteristic that we should unlearn at times. So when a women is working on a project, she does tend to stray her mind to what clothes she is wearing, the crash diet she was supposed to be on, the latest gossip going in her friend’s circle etc.

Tryst with Ikebana

Ikebana is a traditional, disciplined art of flower arrangement that has originated from Japan. It has been dated back to the 7th century when the floral offerings were made at altars and has grown over centuries. “Ikebana” is from the Japanese ikeru (生ける?, “keep alive, arrange flowers, living”) and hana (?, “flower”).  In contrast to Western flower arrangement which is heavily influenced with flowers, Ikebana also uses twigs, branches and stones to symbolize heaven, earth and man. Their placement shows the relationship between each other and with the environment too.

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Ikebana comprises of three main stems. They are called “shin” which is the longest branch, “soe” – the medium branch and “tai” which is the shortest branch. Sometimes, these are used to relate the heaven, earth and man. “Heaven” is the sky, the freedom and aligns with creativity. “Earth” is the ground, the disciplines and the rules. Without disciplines and rules, things will fall apart. “Heaven” and “earth” are indeed “Yin” and “Yang”, they cannot exist alone. Man is the one that forms the balance between heaven and earth.

My Mom took me to the Ikebana class when I was 12 years old, where I learnt the Moribana and Shatai style. Moribana is one of the most popular style and was influenced by Western blooms. It is less structured than other styles.I participated in a lot of flower shows and won in competitions back then. Although I do not practice Ikebana regularly now, I do turn towards it from time to time when I sought peace in my mind and heart. Creating an Ikebana arrangement is indeed supposed to have a meditative quality, as the designer reflects on the beauty of nature and gains inner peace. It takes years and years to practice and master this art form. My Mom regularly influences me with new flower arrangement pictures, vases and decor that she collects from various stores.

I am not an expert in this art form. However, that does not deter me from being a lifelong student and practicing it whenever I get time. Below are some of the arrangements I have made in the past few months:

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