Gadgets Ahoy!

I strongly suspect that the Hindu ritual of seven rounds of marriage is kept long for a specific reason. The ritual is so complex filled with unknown mantras that there is no exact moment where the bride and groom say “I do”. Hence by the time they contemplate whether the marriage will bring them happiness or not, the Pandit has already announced that they are married. If it was as simple as a Christian wedding, I strongly suspect that more would be husbands would have been left at the altar.

On a lighter note, armed with a yearlong experience of marriage and inspired from Mrs Funnybones blog, I have taken up the task of preparing a list of gadgets that my fellow wives will need, to withstand the annoying habits of their better halves.

1.Mood detector glasses (Google Glass v2.0):

Glasses for husbands that detect the mood of the wife automatically and suggests the right thing to say at that moment. This will be very useful while shopping when you need to comment on your wives clothes in the trial room. Also good to know when the wife is going to throw a fit on you and take immediate steps to prevent it.

2. Reminder application (Amazon Echo Dot v2.0):

Application that reminds you when your wife’s birthday is or when your marriage anniversary is nearby. In addition to reminding you the occasions, it also does a quick Amazon search and suggests you the best gifts to buy for your wife.

3. A drone to drown his voice

Every time your husband tries to interrupt your line of thought when you are penning down something, the drone should go off to tell him to shut up. This drone will also be handy when the husband talks over you in an argument, drowning out your views. Point the drone to start buzzing loudly till he does not keep quiet.

4. Tasking Robot (Boston Dynamics Next Gen):

Fed up of reminding your husband the tasks he needs to do! Let this robot to do the honors of tasking the husband to remind him his household duties I am so impressed by my Roomba, that I hope this robot will function like a Roomba too and follow my husband till he finishes his tasks. This robot can also be equipped with a poking device. Whenever the wife is busy with her household chores and the husband is idling in a corner, the poking device will keep poking till the husband starts working.

5. Snore detector (Snore Lab Next):

On the lines of SnoreLab, a snore detector to detect the resonant snoring of the hubby and aim a water missile on his face every time he snores to make him change his sleeping position.

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